Welcome! If you are reading this page, you’re reading my very first post about realizing I was an introvert. This has been a life time journey with the first 20 or so years coming to understand that I was “different”, the next 20 years trying to figure out what that meant, finally realizing I was a “typical” introvert and from then until now accepting myself for who I am and understanding what being an introvert means to me.
I’m new to blogging so this blog may look a little rough at the moment but bear with me! I’m so excited to learn and grow this blog into a destination for introverts that will provide advice, links and helpful information for every area of your life along with worthwhile and useful tools to help you deal with the everyday issues of living in an extrovert’s world!
So when did you first realize you were different? Were you a child who didn’t quite fit in? Was it easier to stay inside than join the kids playing outside? Were you the kid watching everyone else and wondering what to say or do? Were you a “talker” to your friends but silent in groups. Maybe a teenager without the same enthusiasm for “hanging out” as your friends. Possibly the thought of joining an after school club tied your stomach in knots. As you got a bit older did you secretly dread parties and nightclubs or going somewhere you knew there would be lots of people you didn’t know – like a college class, a bar or a movie. Why was it that sometimes you could be the life of the party but other times your brain was simply empty, then later you would think “now why didn’t I think of that????
What about now…. do you feel tired and drained after too many meetings? Are you unemployed and positively dreading the whole idea of networking. Does the thought of a weekend with too many outings make you want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head? What about that BBQ with your friends that sounded so terrific a few weeks ago – are you now racking your brain for any excuse to get out of going. Are you asking yourself why you volunteered this weekend when you would rather just be at home. Do you have days when you just can’t seem to get going? Or mornings when the thought of everything you have to do makes you exhausted (even after plenty of sleep!).
Did you ever wonder why?
I’m not sure when I first heard the term “Introvert” and when I did if it meant anything to me. I knew I was different in some ways but I wasn’t really sure why or exactly how. Most people seemed to think being an introvert meant being shy and timid and I sure wasn’t shy or timid! But it seemed everyone around me looked forward to parties, gatherings, events – they couldn’t wait to go out and have fun! The more the merrier! Sometimes I would get caught up in their excitement and willingly agree to join in only later to sincerely regret it when reality set in. But if I did go – and that was a BIG IF – I often had a terrific time! Of course I was exhausted but it was more often than not a really good exhaustion, the kind that makes you feel satisfied (like after you’ve eaten a delicious meal). But the next time I was invited somewhere the whole process started again, the dread, fear or sense of being overwhelmed. I just couldn’t seem to generate the desire to go, I was only able to feel satisfaction after the fact.
But there were also plenty of times the whole event went wrong and generally right from the start. The overwhelming feeling would begin several days beforehand and I would start creating reasons why I couldn’t go. In retrospect some of the excuses were kind of funny and others were just plain silly but I have a feeling that whoever I told my excuses too knew just that – they were excuses. Closer and closer until the day finally came, either my excuses hadn’t worked or it was something I couldn’t wiggle out of but there I was – somewhere I didn’t want to be! My brain wouldn’t work, I was dull and drained and not a smart witty thought could find it’s way to my mouth. Feeling that way contributed to other bad feelings such as being unattractive or fat or badly dressed – none of which was true (I hope!) but pervasive none the less. The event would be a disaster, at least in my mind, with me at the center feeling despondent. For days even weeks afterward I might feel badly and dig deep into understanding why but often there were no answers – I was just me but not always very happy about it. I knew there must be answers……. but where?
If you’re still with me it might be that either you are an introvert or are close to someone who is an introvert. Maybe you are thinking to yourself “I can really relate to that” or “mmmmm, sounds kind of like someone I know”. But whether it’s you, someone you know, or you’re just interested the goal of this blog is to provide ways to succeed as an introvert and a place to go that understands the needs of an introvert. Stay with me for the next installment – My Story – where I’ll share a bit about my growing up experiences and how I learned to accept who I was – and thrive! I’ll also be sharing a tool that forever changed my life and I hope it will do the same for you!
